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2013

With only a few hours to the begining of our 2014 we salute to all that has happened in 2013 a very hearty good bye, hope we retain all our learnings, hope we celebrate all our earnings and hope we curb all our yearnings ( now im saying this regardless of the fact that i want a google nexus 5 ). This is a note i wish to put in in to thank all those who have helped me be here and as i am, my parents (well they are usually the first one on the list arent they) i had many disagreements with them year and i faught with them a lot, well you know how parents are they dont stay angry with you for long but i did feel sorry for being a stubborn nitwit :P . Next in line is Jagrit (my brother) well i will be surprised if any guy comes to me and says i m blessed to have an elder brother and niether am i but, (isnt there always a but??) i am blessed to have that idot as my brother coz no matter how rough, raw or stringent ape he might be to me he as done his part and been a loving brother and

The Chain of Thought

hey readers . Something that has been stuck in my mind for a very long time .   Are you guys familiar with the concept of what goes around comes around . well tell me how that works :P ?? Anyways, is being too sweet good or bad ... i wanna know because its been on my mind for too long .  I am nice to everybody (i hope so ) and sweet to those near me (except my beloved brother ..  i just get on his nerves) . So this has been troubling me from some time ..  i am sweet and nice to people just because i dont wanna leave a bad impression on people.  i try to make everyone smile for we all have something to cry for in the end of the day .  Its quite funny if you think about it .. the first thought registered in your mind  right after reading that line was that what did i had to cry for yesterday ...  its not crying that matters its being sad about something  may it be some loss ,  may it be some kind of disappointment what ever maybe the reason .  so i ask of you if you

Cold Feet

hey .. how are you guys ..?? Today was extraordinary , because today i was travelling :P (sweet right ??) .  well i wont be so sure of it. I was travelling with a single question in mind .  we might have seen .. in the movies (romantic comedies) that the brides have pre-wedding jitters  and sometimes grooms have cold feet hence the title. No please dont jump to conclusions im not getting married . The phrase is associated with marriage but it stands for having the inability to act on oneself's decision.  well that is whats happening here as well . I am low today because of a decision not taken but imposed on me and this i have to live by . I have been looking at it like it was way too far to worry about it just yet . Yesterday i got a wake up call and the decision looked me in the eye and in a taunting tone it asked  " ready for me yet chum?? " .  I was dumbstruck ... thinking that the time had come near enough to face this decision . I am not the one wh

Compliments

heyo ppl .. whats up .. ?? so since today afternoon a question has been pondering in my mind .. and boggling it that what could be the possible cause of this certain compliment i got (its a request to those who read this .. plz do tell what was the compliment you recieved and has been the most flattering ).. so until today afternoon it was only one compliment that i usually received and was the best compliment i have ever had .." you are sweet " . I guess i might appear all sweet and nice to most and thus was by far the most favorite compliment i have ever had . Its an unearthly joy to put a smile on someone's face .. may it be needed or not . We find many in our life that are there to cause enough sorrow its just nice to leave ppl with a smile , a happy thought .. the feeling is amazing .. so the compliment you get most often is the one that defines your character .. dont you think so??? .. because that is whats people's perspective towards

Favors

Hey readers .. how are you all ..  you know there is one in everyone's life that we turn to when we need to get something done or to ask for a favor. Thats one person we call the "nice guy" or "nice girl" ... and we never want to mess up our friendship with them .. even if we break up with them from a committed relation . Dont you have one of those in your friend's list  ?   well hope you do .. but anyways that one friend never asks for anything in return does he ..? , and thus we just tend to think that maybe because the friend never asks for something he/she just might not require it . well plz take a look in the mirror selfish beings .. what you tend to with a person who is standing at every point when you need him/her . That one friend is taken for granted ... how putrid man has become for the only thing we are supposed to value is taken for granted ... and we tend to run after what doesnt wanna stay ..    i think we need intros

Purpose

Been some time since i was thinking about writing again but this perticular word stuck my mind few days back..   you know how we find places in a random strangers life , how we become lovers, friends, BFFs and (what ppl dont really mention) enemies.  Well the trivial thought boggled my mind for long .. we humans consider ourselves  to be of the highest of creatures because we can think ... but have we ever thought why do we exist in someones life rather than just enjoying life as it is with them ( or just be gloomy that you have them  ie enemies :P ). We never do and i dont get it but im sure not everybody is spiritual and all but, if you just start thanking rather than complaining .. i guess life would be a lot better . So coming back to purpose .. you know how some people only come to you with their problems .. its not that they are always in trouble its because they think you can help .. i remember loosing my mind once over a silly thing just because that friend

I Dont Know #literally

well how are ya ..?? anyways i love this one particular movie ..its called "The Name Of The Rose" if you like Sherlock Holmes" then you will love it too.. So i have watched this movie many times and i love it.. awesome direction and the story is awesome but, what i love the most about this movie is the ending of it.. how the new monk in the movie leaves behind his love without even so much as knowing the name of the rose . Well i cant believe but i had actually lost this particular thread of my memory which was just recently returned .. that i was at some college and enrolling for an entrance exam in english honors (during this exam only i met my first crush)  . i was in the line for about 30 mins and my dad was getting a  demand draft made ..(dont remember the fee). so was standing in the line ready to submit the entrance form when that one girl walks up to me asking for a pen.. and you know how the heroin's enter in a film .. she was beautif

The Charmer

well as the name suggests..this bloody note is about a charmer .. remember how guys or us  always pray for getting a girl of our choice  .. and we have a new obsession on every other turn of a road .. we never think of what the girl would go through if she has to decide among a few guys  ..  that whom she choose and whom she would decline.. Well i practically fel sorry for the likes of her .. what could be worse than a situation which is this complicated , a situation which is this fudge-d up ... today is an unusual day .. today i was called a charmer for a reason and i dont know but,  today i have been proposed and a few proposals showed up in my head and  an old face came up. I dont know how i got stuck up in this .. , I have helped  many in this matter but cant help myself.. its quite funny how things turn up... it was frustrating turning down a proposal and now i have more to look into .. well guess im not made for such decisions but i really dont know , asking

HMMM!!!

well yesterday was my b'day .. and  my family and my friends made me feel special yesterday ! i was getting wishes from everywhere and everyone.. now get this " the statement of  LOVE THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU is quiet appropriate" what happened yesterday was quite shocking  and i really dont know the reason .. at 12 exactly a girl whom i had befriended recently chooses to wish me .. at 12:35 the girl who likes me wishes me ( and i was quite happy) now i liked a girl whom also i had befriended recently .. now here is where the story starts .. i was waiting for a wish from her  but ..its ok if she couldnt wish me in night its not that my b'day is over ... well the excitement next morning on my b'day was alarming .. i took the laptop and started reading the wishes and i thaked all for those who wished me with all their heart ..but anyways  i couldnt find her wish .. i thought maybe she couldnt for some reason ... well went to bangla sahib  and ca

Bonds

its an afternoon like anyother but today is a day to make some decisions .. whats the first time you called someone a  friend.. the first time you played tag, the first time you had a studyaltogether for a moronic exam that you dont care for. well this is usually how we form our bonds .. we form them along the way keeping nothing in mind ..  well my bonds or friends that i made in school  are pretty much diffused in the past now  ... and have a few left .. remember when the count used to go to " i dont know how many friends i have" and  now its just a small meager number .  the friends of my school are still tied to me or more likely its just me tied to them ..but that is how life chooses to move . The friends of school remain behind "in our pasts" while that in the future still remain  unknown .. i bealieve those school friends were good coz  past is always sweet and known .. and not another segment of my friends have been fated to become &q

!! Absurdity !!

today is not an ordinary day... :P just wanted to say it... anyways i'll make this one short (i guess) so today as it happenes ... been into the memoirs of the past months..  you know since the tym i have been in delhi and skipped my clg... I have met many ppl during this time frame and fortunately most of them were girls :P jk ..but most of them were girls... so today i told a girl that "i liked her" guess what ... she said "good one" :P but i guess it was the correct reply ... later i explained how absurd it might sound .. but all of that is not important... so i never asked her what she felt , i guess just know that the person knows what i feel is important to me.. i dont wish to know if she feels the same or not .. because no matter what the answer is.. im niether responsible enough nor am i sure if i would stay here any longer .... damn.. delhi dil ke raste mein aa hi jaati hai :P

Expectations

a year back (almost) ... i had a girl who was barely a "hi" and "hello" friend became a close friend.now we used to to meet everytym we were both in delhi and have " maggi and iced tea " together.and we spent many a fun evenings together ... i helped her get a boyfriend that she liked before ... and we used to chat .. talk abt college and the work, the friends and the teachers . .now recently since the accident, i asked her once if she wanted to meet and  she said yea.. but, unfortunately i couldnt for i had to c my brother and my mom off... later on she didnt reply of chats on fb so i thought she might be busy..and  i let it be .. but recently i c her online and every time i go through the online list and i c her there.. something inside me wants me to ask " hey lets meet up" and i know im being the  arrogant ,egoistic maniac.. but i dont wish to b a pile on in any way.. and thus i choose to leave her alone ...

Remembrance !!

"phir khyaal uska sataata hai ankhon ke ru-ba-ru ho kar chipp jata hai.. " today as i was doing nothing .. i remembered that one face ..just out of nowhere .. i was pulled into nostalgia by the mare thought of  her..i guess , i wasnt thinking anything when  out of nowhere she came up ..but i guess she was my first crush .. and i remember a friend caught me on the fact ..i remember the talk with him out side of our school canteen   as i was going in to buy something to eat when he pulled me out of the crowd and said "tu ussey like karta hai naa" i was literally bushing anyways .. it was during a CATE entrance exam when i met her sitting ryt next to me..carefully drilled into the ppr..i finished abt 10 mins before and was left with nothing to do ..was looking around the room and there she was ..dont wanna name her but lemme tell you the way my heart jumped .. the urge i felt to talk to her .. that was like an unquenchable thirst so here is what i

Broken Spectacles

The day went well, and pretty much stagnant .......   Nothing to do all day .. and  it was a day like any other..during my evening i thought that maybe .. my friend is right.. i should always keep a diary with me .Today i enjoyed the evening though.. the chilly potato were awesome and the noodles were "a cherry on top". Anyways just before  dinner my glasses fell off when i bent down to pic up something .. and this thought was thus induced . that we humans have became accustomed to our senses   so much that even the slightest of disability is not ignored .but rather confronted  . How we care so much for our self that we overlook the need of other.. i was once taught... "rab ko mandiron , mazjidon, girja gharon ya gurdwaron mein nahi .. insaan mein dhoondo" . It is  in no way to critisize the teaching of any religion but this perticular line "insaan mein dhoondo" is taught in every religion. If we are so eger to find god ..  then why push

New Age

well dont worry looking at the topic..  i had to come up with something..wanna target one thing in particular in this scribble  so, what happened yesterday  was that, i stumbled onto a thought.. i was wondering that why cant we humans value what we posses rather, we hopelessly long for something  we dont have.. our ability to take  things for granted is deteriorating our chances of what we may get..  because since every human mind goes the same way people around them think .. we have to sustain on such heartless maneuvers such as ignorance .. in order to make the person fall for us..they dont consider the fact that there is a 50% chance of  loosing him/her as well. we humans thrive on the technicality that we cant live alone ..  and its true.. those who do live alone are either senile or dead so i dont know but i guess it might  act as a message to people.. that ignoring the one u like is not the suitable way to make him or her like you..  its imbecile of you to think that

Strength

so anyways .. yesterday was quiet a fun day ... enjoyed a b'day party, met my maternal  relatives (again) . so i was sitting alone deep into my so called thoughts .. i dont know  what induced it but probably out of no where I thought of dancing .. ( u dont know what it feels like when u want to but u just cant ) and then it hit me that i cant ..just yet.. It was an impeccable  timing for the thought because exactly at that moment , a sister of mine decided that it was her fav no. and she wanted me to tag along. so as the situation appeared itself  i decided that its better not to..( c'mon  i know that u just might be thinking that i should try but im pretty sure i wont look good fallen on a dance floor) well thats that.. Been into thoughts for last 2 nights and cant yet decide ... it so happens that i met many ppl during this so called vacation of mine. i have met many ppl and im not bragging but most of them were girls..anyways .. u see that fb is a form of

Friends

Feeling sleepy today..  I met a friend today .. took to playing "Playstation 2" with him ..got beaten many times ... .. headed off to eat the long awaited "chilly potatoes".. had those with him a year and a half ago .. that's the least he remembers :P He slapped me on my chest using  his backhand ....( don't worry it was playfully)  funny i didn't remember any of it.. and according to him its a pretty old custom..headed off to eat chilly potato .. on the way i thought of it the first time .. maybe i wanted the life with friends .. its more stimulating , more rejuvenating ..more fun.. now while having them (chilly potato) thought of another struck my mind.. in our school canteen the guy was feared by all who were having chilly potato... "DEVAM RANJAN" we discussed how he used to hoggle em all up at once and then it hit me ..no human on its own is complete ... silently we need and search for companions .. friends ..and

First Love

Today i woke up relatively early ..its quiet a hardship today .. stuck with a dilemma.. saw the sun come up today ..   lost into a shallow thought ... the question "do i love her ?" was storming through my mind. remember how a stupid "love song" shows up and u are its hero alongside the one you love. well .. in my case it was a match like that of tennis  between 2 .. it was an unfair match though ... funny she still survives in my thoughts.. been over a year  and yet i think of her, its pathetic coz even in the early times a never expected her to b mine .. just wished for her happiness.. well i wish to jump into my present now .. yesterday only she asked me and i subtly declined coz of the sole reason to keep her at a distance ..couldnt  sustain hurting her ..guess to keep somethings safe you wish to keep em away right.. man .. love comes from the least expected places .. couldnt comprehend the fact that she loves me.. but hope she finds

The "Elixir" of LIFE

so here is the deal man ..  im not gonna pay 100 rs for this cover so if you can lower the rate a bit plz i eventually bought it for 90rs .. so the 10rs didnt seem like enough trouble to go through. on our way back me and my friend grabbed a bite from McDonalds . almost home after 20 mins .. on the walk met a friend and something stuck my dear friend he gotta buy some stuff for his coming submissions .. we head towards  a place to eat (isnt it funny that we required stationary and ended at a food joint) there we ate  and enjoyed .. we headed to the shop where we would get to buy stationary ... on the 7 min long way my friend tried call everyone he could have the info from .. the "what to buy and what not to" list .he called 3 out of which 2 didnt respond so he called his daughter..(so called) no she didnt pick up no matter how many times he called "i called fooling myself on the fact that i was trying to help him .. instead of the fact that it was

¡¡¡¡ uoısnɟuoɔ

Today i just got excited about my reunion ..  man! seeing my old school friends again .. the boasting of hey i got this and got rewarded that.. The exciting laughs of my friends  the squeals of joy .. and astonishment ....im sure anybody who loved their school life would be there.. so what caused the confusion was that.. „ǝɹoɯ ǝɔuo pǝʌoן ı ǝuo ǝɥʇ ɥɔʇɐɔ oʇ ɹo spuǝıɹɟ ʎɯ ʇǝǝɯ oʇ ǝɹǝɥʇ ƃuıoƃ ı sɐʍ„ to see the smile again ,to hear the laughter again.. to see her dancing or to see her talking maybe to see her laugh on my jokes or maybe to see her turn my jokes down saying " it was a pj" dont know if its a need or its a stark greed to see her is to feel excited .. or is it to be dead indeed.. the bare fact  that she smiles..... is the sole reason that everything is suffice.. the confusion is mind boggling this longing.. is it just a vice .... dont know what's right and what stands among the truth as bare lies but one thing is true ..untill she cares to sm

Pain Beneath a Smile

Its a Wednesday evening like any other...but today something stuck  me.. a kick to the piniata full of old memories .. these memories i cherished ...i was proud of these memories and the characters who played part in this colorful play of life ...laughing alongside my happiness , crying for my sorrows and loving their love, keeping me as a shoulder to cry on, a firm hand to push on and a friend in need...im still proud of them .. but like any other pain .. i now want to forget what they once meant to me ... what they felt for me, and what i felt for them... We bump into new people everyday.. its not news... but its only a few who manage to touch our hearts...some pretended to b enemies and some pretended to b friends...some turn their faces away when i say "hey" some pass by like a ghost  without even a gentle nod...some forgot me and my existence ..a new world and a new home is where i live .. send me a letter and i will forgive.. but u dont seem to care ... i was blind

A Drug named LOVE

I can't feel my heart my brain is futile.... Each breath dearth of sane.I am senile... Your love is no sugar its like a drug .... it holds me tight no matter how much i shrug my addiction to it is stronger than that to life each morning i rise with it but its nothing more than a vice With each glance at you my heart pounds stronger my brain leaves its thoughts and goes  yonder The poison u make me take is all i got.. i know its you becoz i felt ur scent.. coz i cant be mistaken when i'm awake By the end of life all i ask is u by my side the last moment when i'll be with you I'll quit the drug and leave a world full of smiles for you...

I Wish I Could Leave This World Alive

I wish i could leave this world alive, to meet the dark heavens on a starry night.. I wish i could keep my heart aside, for that one girl who would cry me a sprite.. I Wish I Could Leave This World Alive.. I'll make heavens sing to her the stars fall for her to see that smile when she holds me tight.. I Wish I Could Leave This World Alive I Wish I could Keep My Heart Aside this one little scribble was for a special someone.. but alas, it didnt work out well coz she "DIDN'T EVEN KNOW" :P