Chronicles of an Extraordinary Fool

The following Except is a Monologue It was last night i wanted to ask her to block me but, a friend offered her ear to me and asked for me to talk. [00:22, 4/17/2018] : the longing makes you susceptible to bad decisions, the need alone to talk to her is such a hopelessly and helplessly weak and gut wrenching feeling that, the mind wouldn't stay with you, wandering off in the very thoughts you once relished and cherished, they become the sand papers wearing off the sharpness you held intact with the illusion that you need no love. [00:27, 4/17/2018] : If that isnt enough to destroy the kid that, held tightly to the dreams and fairy tales of a happy ending and a blissful life then, there is the presence, the advent of technology, keeps you at a certain end of a perpetual reminder that the person you wish to drive your mind away from has uploaded a new photo, a story, a status and that alone is enough for a demented retard like me to scroll through her words, those pixels that form

So, it was last night that I got talking to the girl I had fallen for, 4 years back. We got to talking and i learned that she no longer has a boyfriend anymore and I was as happy as a toddler because it was first time in 4 years that i had learned that she was single and i did not think twice and offered her to take me back.  (yea, you are thinking right, what kind of fool just jumps at an opportunity like that, I could have waited a bit, could have asked if she was available, hell could have asked how did it happen and then move on from it but no, I didnt have that much thought and I just asked her straight away.) It is after her initial tipsy reply that I first felt it. During her acknowledgement of how special I was to her, she used that infernal word, that one word which was enough to tell me to quit dreaming. She used the word "always" I knew it then and there that she was lost to me. given the fact that I pushed her away in the first place. It was after asking her to