Chronicles of an Extraordinary Fool

Welcome back to another one of my gab fests! How have you all been all this time?          I was wondering about something very banal not, because I'm incapable of having complex thoughts but, rather because it was so common and disinteresting that it kept popping up. So, the topic of our discussion today is (yep, you got that right from the title itself). So, being a citizen of a metropolitan city like Delhi, it is very common  for me to see quarrels, people are fighting on roads, the traffic jams are the culprits, in the air so polluted the smog is the culprit and so on. Fighting is something very constant those who dont seem to be fighting have other conflicts to tend to.        Therefore, the quarrel I am to address is the one that we dont see, coz what we see is just too petty for me to give my thoughts on. The quarrel within refers to the conflicting opinions of the heart and the mind, this confusion was made evident to me n...

How easy it seems sometimes, to hold out a smile, to tell someone that you care for them! I was pacing up and down on the rooftop, under the negligible wind and dimly lit sky, hoping for it to rain. Something came along a thought clinging to the so called 'Train of Thought', I remembered once a conversation with someone, and her exact words were, "you see me smile naa but, have you seen my eyes?" Perhaps since, that day I realized that you gotta keep the happy eyes with you, or someone will call your bluff. So, when is it that you fail to see someone else's eyes ? Thats when your own eyes are sad and that was the shortcoming of it all. Call me judgemental, I say we all are. You think you are any different, I beg to differ, did you not judge first in-order to let in more information because even when you are just being procrastinating about another, you are constantly judging, its just that your judgement is changing like the fool's. This judgment is somet...

Something has got to tick for me to write and as it appears I shall write as another. So here goes to the extraordinary fool.           He sat laid back watching tv, the movie showing was  intense, the theory of everything, never thought theories to be made of such complex human emotions he said to himself. The movie was so enthralling, the sheer strength of the bond between the sick doctor and his wife where she tries her best to uphold the relationship.           He had known black and white all his life atleast, that is what he dealt in at all times the emotions were always two extremes little did he know that, that was not how things worked. People say red is the color of love but, he stood in defiance, he believed it to be gray colored!! Why you ask, well, so did many and he replied as to why it is gray. He believed that love existed because of its affection now this affection coul...

          Facing the mirror he stood, dim light and the bleak atmosphere of the room acted as defining traits of that reflection that looked back. The mirror dusty and tattered, probably held most of the truth. He looked back, ran through his memories!! Every few footsteps something sweet awaited, a life so beautiful not because of its own making but, because of people in it. These people were the ones he earned through his kindness, made friends, nurtured familiarities and so on, developing relations, strengthening bonds!!           He felt that heart throb another time, yearn for someone, mysterious in its juvenile longings,  trying his best to keep em smiling. She was beautiful, as are they all but, no this one was special for she loved him back, he tried her love and before every full stop he would have believed in her love. They shared stories and all he heard was the glimmer of her eyes, the calm of her gaze and the occasio...

On Friday, in the bus as I was commuting to my college i was lucky enough to find myself a seat but, come Peeragadi(a bus stop) an elderly person just walked by and i being a good samaritan offered my seat to which he graciously agreed and even thanked me for it. Seeing the bus in a now crowded state I took to my seat right above the front wheel of the bus but, was stopped in mid-way and got offered a seat by another elderly gentleman who was alighting the bus soon. He said in his somewhat coarse voice "sitting on this is not safe" I being the stubborn one said "its safe, i usually travel like this". Then came the exasperation.           I was Listening to the songs on my playlist when something caught my eye, it was a girl (Low hanging fruit this side :D ), this girl studies in my college I thought but then why have i never seen her perhaps, I'm not looking at the right place. Nevertheless, she is very beautiful and I had this sudden urge to see her smile ...

Hey people, How have you been?? I was sitting in my class when a though hit me, why do I come to college so.. (Hi Karan, he just walked in, this one is my batchmate, good guy, intellectual and I'm gonna go back don't worry) early in the morning and then the answer came to me, to get a set of notes photocopied (that's for today). So, I walked to the store inside campus and saw it filled with students, wasn't that my initial thought that, no one will be in college so the shop might be empty, but then again I knew its filled in the mornings.           This brought upon the thought of hopeless longings,  waiting  for things that you just know won't happen. You must have a good idea how fate intervenes in stuff, then there is the Murphy's law ( Murphy was a philosopher who stated that when you want something to succeed it usually fails you, FYI these are not his exact words). So, this one girl whom I haven't met in 4 years now tell...

hey I bring forth something that has happened in most people's lives and if not then pray it never happens!! Because I am not really making it up when I tell you that everything you choose in your life happens according to that choice. I read this particular phrase somewhere that " We All Love Whats Broken And Beautiful"  So, i have known this for quite sometime that in order to be desirable I need to be broken since i cant do much for beauty (believe me that shit isnt my forte). So I started wishing if only i was broken and i just wasnt, been always too happy and cheerful when presented to others, kinda hid my emotions often and i preferred it that way. This was probably the reason I have had faced rejection more than once, because I dont open myself up to anyone, not even the ones I wanted to open my heart to. Then again, somethings arent meant to happen. I eventually understood my mistake and opened up to one girl whom I liked but, I freaked out when i started fa...

hey peeps So how are you guys?? I hope you guys are well and good and so am I. Well, IDK where to start, where to give the details and where to end (you predicted the "where to end right.. Now stop smiling). My absence on this particular site or on my blog has been because i have lost the reason to write. That tumour of emotions that used to build-up in my head is no longer there, I have lost the filter that used to work while I talked. Dont really know what the problem is but, its gone alright. So this one wont be a product of a well thought out dilemma but, a simple, crude and unattractive piece of writing. So, as the name suggests "IDK" i dont really know what has been going on from a few weeks now but, i feel empty inside, im a tad more reckless nowadays and i have the audacity to write this  and im one who hides his feelings (or so i thought). Recently been pointed out to hone a lot of negativity as well, god I dont know where is this driving me but, i sure ...

Hey readers hope you are all well!                     Well this particular write up is for a very fundamental matter, and that is love (did you not see it coming). So, as i said it goes out for love, I (in my school time) was a shy one and that is when i encountered 2 girls who met me, i fell for them then they went away, the usual deal. After that came the time when i got admission in LPU and i was so happy that i finally got into an architecture college after failing to do the same in IP or AIEEE. During my time in LPU i was a moderate guy but i think i still was shy, and never exerted my own will onto anything but, i was happy for sure, working my ass off but happy so, life tore me a new one seeing how happy I was in doing the same. That ended it, and the end was brutal, believe me when i tell you that i still dont remember shit from the accident that happened in 2012 but, i can tell you this that my strong hearted brother was cr...

Hello readers,   How is it hanging with you guys these days?   i hope you all are well. Yesterday in a classroom lecture of mine, the teacher thought of giving a small excerpt on Perspectives. Essentially speaking perspective is the way of looking at things formulated by ones own experiances, and this really got me thinking. It is very common for us to look at everything from the viewpoint of "I would have done it better", we do not hesitate in pointing out others mistakes relentlessly, without thinking for even a second that if we were in the situation would we have even succeeded.              The teacher however was explaining a different concept, he drew a hotch-potched image on a white board with a marker in front of us of a plant with no specific features to it. A flower on top, two leaves on its stem on either of its sides and finally a triangular pot. I wont tell you what i saw but would rather ask you what image would you make of t...

Hello readers. How are you all? It has been some time since I had this kind of flood of emotions again. This time it literally is what the topic says . I CANNOT RECOGNIZE MYSELF. The guy who was usually referee to as a week, caring, thoughtful, I am looking at him in the rear view mirror.   I abused someone today I shouldn't have but I guess I reached my breaking poin.you know how  before any confrontation a script runs in your head ..?  Well mine went something like this I have lost every shred of respect I had for you, you have managed to hurt me to an extent where I have to abuse you.you bear no more importance to me and I would be happy if you died because you existence is not doing anyone any good. I dong know from where did all this came from but, there is more to this . I don't know for sure if I did but I think I hurt someone and I don't feel guilty about it, maybe because of the recent activities but doesn't that make me a horrible person?? I had recently...

Hello readers ,          How is it hanging?? Well today i guess i spent the most awesome day of my life until now. I cannot indulge you in any details coz that will be like screwing your day over (trust me it was that awesome).        I am here to write the note regardless so i guess i bring you the learning of the day. It is not very often that we get what we want from the life. In a book called "The Secret" the author explained how the universe works in relation to our thought process. When we think of things we picture it happening, like you want to eat a chocolate, now in your mind you will picture yourself eating a chocolate. The universe will take that image into account and will eventually deliver according to how strong your want is. This applies as a disadvantage too, thinking about not falling while riding a bicycle makes you picture yourself falling off the bike and thus fear becomes stronger and stronger till you fall. So, in sho...

Ever felt a warm glow, ever wondered where it might take you in its flow. there is a certain calm in this journey under your shade, amongst my ambitions i lost sight of what would be the ramifications each step i was timid, each time i only tried to be rigid forgive me now for i still dont know how, to keep you happy, for it just seemed easy and sappy. Don't know much about love, i understand it now i was always too selfish for i never knew how. i realized it yesterday what i might be feeling today, could it be love, i can't seem to push you away. no matter how hard i fought it, she just never bought it, her simple okay was quiet evident the sudden drawl was not so reluctant, the simple "ok", turned heavy and many syllables strode down to long, unwanted decent. i could sense her heavy voice i couldn't hear among the noise, for defeating this devilish love i tried to see the angels of reason up above, i tried to push her away but i never noticed that i went into ...

hey readers, how are you all ? In India there is a saying " उपर वाला जब भी देता है, छप्पर फ़ाड कर देता है " meaning that, when ever the god wishes to give, he gives with generosity . Similar case here, i was fed up from my phone, i had a small hTC explorer and by god i hated that son of a B.. really bad. The size of it was one problem the next was the low internal memory and the slow processor was the "cherry on top".          well so first i got a Moto G from my mom, and i gotta tell you that its a good phone .. and the functions are user friendly. Next thing was the finding of love .. you have no idea how it would feel when you have no single reason to worry about the one you love .. well i have felt it and it feels awesome.          Then, i went to Rajouri Garden (its a place in delhi), and i decided to go to the "City Square" mall and went to its topmost floor and got myself a bite to eat. so turns out chilly potatoes the...

heyo people... hows it hangin ??  well i wanted to write today in particular because a thought has struck my mind and he wants out. so here goes. Today i have had an epiphany (for those who dont know what an epiphany is .. go check the dictionary) so the sudden realization of the great truth was that today alone i felt sad. Now i know i shouldn't have felt so because i was the one pushing her away trying to save her the trouble of I, ME and MYSELF but, i felt as if no air in my lungs and no light was caught by my eyes, because the one thing i looked for was nowhere to be found. You must think what a messed up guy, cant he make up his mind.. but let me assure you im not on the verge of total insanity yet. i should be happy that i finally got what i wished for but here i am still sulking, you know what i think i cared when she talked to me, when she used to tell me about her day, when she used to flick away those hair only so i could see her face. Well thats that, I know now that no...

Heyo everyone,                      today i got to sleep 10 minutes more than usual time. YAY!!!!!  Well, Its another story entirely that it delayed my overall schedule but, it was fun in the monotonous routine. So,  got to my college at my usual time (which is 40 minutes before the college starts #drag) and was sitting in my college's cafeteria when, a thought struck my mind( there has been a lot of that going around). you all might know how i was supposedly in love then, thought it to be just a #FalseAlarm well,as it turns out "It was and It wasnt". Dubious ?? let me explain.. you might know how first love feels like..? well if you dont then take this as only a foot note or something you can learn something from.                  That feeling of first love is downright awesome!!! Its like watching ripples in a calm lake, listening to birds chirp their songs, the sun tryin...

hey ..i have been moost recently introduced to this new phenomenon.  it is quite an eyeopener that i was struck upon this little yet grave problem.i dont like to talk much my school frends know about this (#sarcasm) (joke of the century. Neverthless, i havent taken up talking too much in my new college and i seem to enjoy myself regardless. it took me about 2 weeks till i judged almost everyone for what they are, i mean like i got party animals, people that are friendly, people that are introverts and extroverts, seen shy people and a couple of loudmouths. i have already formed this perception about many and it seemed an easy job for studying them was quite an intresting job , you know like observing (believe i have learnt quite a bit) but, now it seems i didnt see them at all. i made a mistake, i judged a book by its cover and dont know anymore if i know anyone at all .seems like me trying to stay off of them kept them away so much that i never got to know them, only a faint...

heyo ... Perhaps i was wrong ... maybe this need to write just doesnt thrive on the feeling of love or any such problem ... its just the feeling of being that makes me write these notes ... so been sometime since i have been told by an astrologer that i will be sensitive (emotionally) for 10 years , long time .. well 2010 was the beginning of it and 2020 will be the supposed end of it .. so been thinking on how can i become emotional all of a sudden .. and then it hit me .. i have been writing since 2010 only , been noticing little details since then only ..  so conclusion i twisted something in order to fit something ... but yea while the topic is at hand i suddenly lack empathy for others and started taking care of my own self ..  i supposedly won "the most compassionate Mira-ite" award (i saw the name on the trophy just a few weeks back and got it that it was a title given to me only .. although i have no memory of getting it ).. so that com...

heyo ..    Well i was troubled and gave it a tad too much thought but it is truly said that  "An empty mind is devil's workshop" been some days since i have been craving the need to meet a friend.. but  i have been suppressing it  and im not sure if that is a reason to my current situation .  So it was recently brought to my notice that the music we like at a certain timeline is basically  because the music provides us with the emotional stimulus that our brain requires . I commented so on a teacher's status and got a reply " hmm" . Now, i don't know if that was a  yes or maybe .. but i know that it wasn't a no. so i have been listening to music  love songs, dub-step, rock and metal :P and god know what ...!!  but anyways here is the psychoanalysis  i think i am getting aggressive .. i feel like angry all the time and as i have been pointed out by my dad   i seem to be restles...