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Crap!! Its Happening

heyo readers , 
so get this .. isnt it universal that when you want something you cant find it and if you "dont want it" it is always there . The most idiotic of things happened 2 days back .. now i dont know is someone was playing me or its was real  but i guess it worked regardless . 
i was at a certain place for a period of a year or so.. and came across someone.. you all know how the story turns filmy when you are in love but i will stick to infatuation since love is still a hard word to come by . 
Now that particular someone was (dont read it is all the same lovey-dovey.. mushy stuff) beautiful enough to make me go to that place every time and everyday, the idea of pouring my heart out seemed senseless at that particular time. During that particular time i would actually kill someone in order to see that smile.. but i couldnt give mine ..i guess i wanted to stay there to see her smile (selfish lol ). 
So, back on track, all the time at that one particular place i could never express myself and never 
had a chat with her so comfortably , every time i used look at those eyes my tongue that was the most appreciated by all, would go spell bound, never knew what to say and what not to  just hmm's and baa's came out(i know i might sound like a goat to her) . It was so stupid of me because 
i was the most talkative one in my group of friends. 
Well, 2 days back something terrible happened, i was left befuddled because of a particular letter that I received. I was quite adamant on a decision, i didnt want to change it one bit, not because i hated the place or the people there ..  in-fact i wanted to be with them because they were part reason of me being alive(literally) but, because my parents wanted me to stay with em in Delhi. That one particular letter  made me take second thoughts, i wanted to go back regardless of anybody's decision because she wanted me there and i would rather go than to stay because of a petty reason. Now, i was always so sure of the fact that i can never fall head over heels for someone but crap !! it is happening . I so wish that she was joking in that particular letter because, if not then i wouldnt be able to comply to her request, "the subtle request to come back" .
Ever wonder why god plays this particular card ...  
i guess its because he wants us to start appreciating our being  as it is 
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