Chronicles of an Extraordinary Fool

I wasn't this crass, in the past few weeks my words and my actions have started to have direr consequences. I used to be happier before, I used to be nicer, guess it is now showing as just a façade and the bastard is seeping out. I can't explain the hideousness of my actions but it sure is making people realize what sort of a decrepit imbecile I am. I think I know where I lost my way, it happened the day I started getting what I wanted. Each one hoped to change and maybe keep me (or this could be the narcissist in me talking) but, I never did stay and went back when I wanted to and only know that I'm at an age when this is considered immoral behavior. I only intend to apologize to the ones I did wrong, the ones I treated wrong, in my defense I never did deserve you to begin with, and you were just kind to me and for that, you don't deserve the treatment you get from me. Forgive me!

First of all, fuck you. Now follows the justification, as the title says "love a soul", not anything else, be it a face, bank balance, body and what not. I want to question can you be this narrow and look for a soul, in the world today you talk sweetly to a person and they consider you a creep coz people stopped seeing souls the day social media came into existence. People now only see a wall, a page where you find about a person, and then when she/he stops being a mystery you move on to the next one, thats how sad it is, nobody hangs around to see and know your soul, people have exhausted their attention spans and nobody has the time for falling deep into love. So i would suggest you stop feeding this shit like comfort food to girls and guys and making them believe that there is a chance for true love and when this belief is shattered you on free media would have moved on to paid media.

This note is not shared and if you have found it I suggest you keep it to yourself, Please!!           You know how they tell you that your mind works better at night, less troubles to deal with, a more free thinking space and what not. I have always agreed to the fact, the night time has always brought with itself a lot of opportunities. The most recent was called "Clbtl" (no i cant name her) and she came with a certain realisation, i.e. I am quite content with my life and this is pretty much a curse. As you yourself can gather that in order to seize opportunities one must always be hungry for something more. Whereas, I have all I can ask for, neither I have the wish nor the need for something more except for that one thing called love. I agree that my family loves me but, I cant share my heart with them because they got their own troubles trust me, its not easy for anyone who is alive.           So, coming back to the idea of oppo...

The following Except is a Monologue It was last night i wanted to ask her to block me but, a friend offered her ear to me and asked for me to talk. [00:22, 4/17/2018] : the longing makes you susceptible to bad decisions, the need alone to talk to her is such a hopelessly and helplessly weak and gut wrenching feeling that, the mind wouldn't stay with you, wandering off in the very thoughts you once relished and cherished, they become the sand papers wearing off the sharpness you held intact with the illusion that you need no love. [00:27, 4/17/2018] : If that isnt enough to destroy the kid that, held tightly to the dreams and fairy tales of a happy ending and a blissful life then, there is the presence, the advent of technology, keeps you at a certain end of a perpetual reminder that the person you wish to drive your mind away from has uploaded a new photo, a story, a status and that alone is enough for a demented retard like me to scroll through her words, those pixels that form...

So, it was last night that I got talking to the girl I had fallen for, 4 years back. We got to talking and i learned that she no longer has a boyfriend anymore and I was as happy as a toddler because it was first time in 4 years that i had learned that she was single and i did not think twice and offered her to take me back.  (yea, you are thinking right, what kind of fool just jumps at an opportunity like that, I could have waited a bit, could have asked if she was available, hell could have asked how did it happen and then move on from it but no, I didnt have that much thought and I just asked her straight away.) It is after her initial tipsy reply that I first felt it. During her acknowledgement of how special I was to her, she used that infernal word, that one word which was enough to tell me to quit dreaming. She used the word "always" I knew it then and there that she was lost to me. given the fact that I pushed her away in the first place. It was after asking her to...

Today I had an unusual air of calm inside my lungs. Today I was in no hurry to get up and go to work, I knew that sleeping in 30 minutes more wont hurt anybody, I walked to the Metro train station in a long 10 minute walk (it takes me precisely 7 minutes to get to the station from my home) and i was fine, not put of breath in any way, I was subjected to the same unrelenting crowd of rajiv chowk and I didnt care. In the metro I didnt offer my seat to any (coz no one aged nor any woman in need appeared) as I got the seat during the last leg of my journey. I got to my workplace only to realize that I had left my key at home but, instead of calling everyone with the key to hurry to the workplace, I waited it out. This new feeling of calm is elevating, Im worried for nothing and this maybe the first time in my entire life that Im worried for nothing. No, doors need to be locked, no switches need to be turned off, no deadlines to meet and no love to greet. There is a profound happiness that...

Welcome back to another one of my gab fests! How have you all been all this time?          I was wondering about something very banal not, because I'm incapable of having complex thoughts but, rather because it was so common and disinteresting that it kept popping up. So, the topic of our discussion today is (yep, you got that right from the title itself). So, being a citizen of a metropolitan city like Delhi, it is very common  for me to see quarrels, people are fighting on roads, the traffic jams are the culprits, in the air so polluted the smog is the culprit and so on. Fighting is something very constant those who dont seem to be fighting have other conflicts to tend to.        Therefore, the quarrel I am to address is the one that we dont see, coz what we see is just too petty for me to give my thoughts on. The quarrel within refers to the conflicting opinions of the heart and the mind, this confusion was made evident to me n...

https://youtu.be/e6LguBkaX7E

How easy it seems sometimes, to hold out a smile, to tell someone that you care for them! I was pacing up and down on the rooftop, under the negligible wind and dimly lit sky, hoping for it to rain. Something came along a thought clinging to the so called 'Train of Thought', I remembered once a conversation with someone, and her exact words were, "you see me smile naa but, have you seen my eyes?" Perhaps since, that day I realized that you gotta keep the happy eyes with you, or someone will call your bluff. So, when is it that you fail to see someone else's eyes ? Thats when your own eyes are sad and that was the shortcoming of it all. Call me judgemental, I say we all are. You think you are any different, I beg to differ, did you not judge first in-order to let in more information because even when you are just being procrastinating about another, you are constantly judging, its just that your judgement is changing like the fool's. This judgment is somet...

Something I have learned long back is that LOVE is the only son of a dog (coz I'm feminist), that can drive me to write about something. Rest all I am capable of keeping in. You got that right, yes, it is that time again when I am feeling infatuation, a beautiful someone is seemingly more beautiful than the rest of them. I met her not at some party, bar, club, or disco (i don't go to any of those....... maybe once in a while), no, I met her at a college. Sometimes it's downright funny as to the chain of unforeseen events lead to such happy yet painful accidents. We started a conversation very prior to the scheduled time of discussion and by the end of the day which we both were crawling through (although in different teams), we were friends enough to exchange contacts and all (coz well, let's face it I'm charming, love). Now since that chance meeting, we have met each other a couple of times and I like the time I spend with her and on top of that she is f...

Been away from this vice for long now, I thought I was saving up my words, my thoughts but, they were rather getting lost. So, I'm not this "serial writer" who just has an urge to write out of something that has stuck my mind ANYMORE, I am more of a keep to myself these days and the job surely just keeps me busy. I was just celebrating my Saturday staying in bed (coz that's the extent of my celebrations #sadmuch), I thought of writing some shayri (poetry) but nothing came to my mind. I thought to myself perhaps this is because I have been keeping things in for so long, so, I decided to let it out but, the everlasting dilemma still struck, what to write when you have nothing to say, do you struggle with it often, what gives you this clarity in thought if it never happens to you. This entire thing was brought upon by this friend of mine, who sent me a piece of her shayri (poetry), and I did not have an answer for it, I thought hard and nothing, so I decided if not th...

So, I know its been too long since you heard from this fool but I have been occupied otherwise, and it took something really strong to shake me back to my senses and turn to the thing I love. This is in human nature that we are always attracted and obsessed towards things that aren't there with us and neglect those which are, the fickle human mind I tell you!! So you may look at anything and you will see how right I am, you know this nature of ours is so strong that it implies to something as little as weather too, how many times have we wished for rains when it was hot and humid  and how many times we beg for the sun to show up when it is raining for some time. I agree to the fact that excess of everything is bad but all I need to point out is that we never stop looking for something that isn't in our reach, otherwise we do work for it. So, as a younger sibling I was always treated as a being with lesser brain and my 1 and 1/4 years older brother knew it all, I used to feel...

Ever wondered what could be the possible cause of a blessing, I mean we all question god or blame someone for a tragedy or something as meagre as weather (trust me you have said it once in a while that "oh god why is it so hot/cold?" depending on where you are placed geographically). The fool had just been stuck with this dilemma that why has he been blessed to live twice, through 2 lethal accidents. Then a theory stuck his mind, he was always clear with the fact that "how in a mysterious way life works and one achieves heaven or is sent back to hell" yes, he believes life to be the hell, a place where you go through a hitherto of emotions, desires, feelings, needs, wants, bonds and expectations. Expectations being the worst of all, "you think you are fee of those" the fool asked me one day. I replied yes, I dont have anyone who expects anything of me. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" the fool burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. what about the ones you...

I would love this chance to comment on the movie and I warn you now that if you havent seen the film, I suggest you turn back this instant!! Udta Punjab, the tittle itself is quite interesting, the most basic and straight forward inference that can be drawn is "the 'high' addicts of punjab", high here is for those intoxicated, high is also the number of addicts. I myself  have never been exposed to the drug problem in punjab but this sure gives you a real insight. The movie remains focused on the drug problem all through the film, for some time you may even believe its a movie made for a social cause, and it just might be. The film received a raw treatment as compared to other films and this kinda adds up to the message portrayed. The story is very strongly represented through characters and harsh realities embedded into reel (yes, it is a reality that punjabis have that filthy mouth when it comes to imposing a strong personality). One thing that set back the entire ...

Hey readers, So the fool sat down on the side of a busy road, waiting for a bus to show-up, wondered long and hard at the events of his life as it sprang ahead, as fleetingly as the cars went by. Order, the word order has been something that has dictated all his life, cant remember his life without the order of school introduced in his life. He couldnt conjure up the memories that he might have had as a child but, later when he switched to primary school he was subjected to this routine of getting up by 6:15am and leaving by 7 for school, coming back by 2:00pm and running off to tuition by 3:30pm and so on. the order kept changing though during the course of his lifetimes. it was like he was running a relay race with baton of time at hand. Each relay he completed, he emerged better than the last one, with that order setting-in in his lifestyle. Part One,             the fool got up early, so his brother can have the convenience of a longer sleep (honest...

Something has got to tick for me to write and as it appears I shall write as another. So here goes to the extraordinary fool.           He sat laid back watching tv, the movie showing was  intense, the theory of everything, never thought theories to be made of such complex human emotions he said to himself. The movie was so enthralling, the sheer strength of the bond between the sick doctor and his wife where she tries her best to uphold the relationship.           He had known black and white all his life atleast, that is what he dealt in at all times the emotions were always two extremes little did he know that, that was not how things worked. People say red is the color of love but, he stood in defiance, he believed it to be gray colored!! Why you ask, well, so did many and he replied as to why it is gray. He believed that love existed because of its affection now this affection coul...

          Facing the mirror he stood, dim light and the bleak atmosphere of the room acted as defining traits of that reflection that looked back. The mirror dusty and tattered, probably held most of the truth. He looked back, ran through his memories!! Every few footsteps something sweet awaited, a life so beautiful not because of its own making but, because of people in it. These people were the ones he earned through his kindness, made friends, nurtured familiarities and so on, developing relations, strengthening bonds!!           He felt that heart throb another time, yearn for someone, mysterious in its juvenile longings,  trying his best to keep em smiling. She was beautiful, as are they all but, no this one was special for she loved him back, he tried her love and before every full stop he would have believed in her love. They shared stories and all he heard was the glimmer of her eyes, the calm of her gaze and the occasio...

An iota of thought: Government’s Nationalism: Facts and Contradictions... : Government’s Nationalism: Facts and Contradictions Ok! Under the garb of nationalism, government is strangling and gagging youn...

So recently been enjoying this, you got questions, im highly obliged to answer em!! Give it a go guys!!

I have worked as an assistant director for this song and it has been a blast thank you Filmy 24FPS