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Grown Up yet?

So, I know its been too long since you heard from this fool but I have been occupied otherwise, and it took something really strong to shake me back to my senses and turn to the thing I love. This is in human nature that we are always attracted and obsessed towards things that aren't there with us and neglect those which are, the fickle human mind I tell you!! So you may look at anything and you will see how right I am, you know this nature of ours is so strong that it implies to something as little as weather too, how many times have we wished for rains when it was hot and humid  and how many times we beg for the sun to show up when it is raining for some time. I agree to the fact that excess of everything is bad but all I need to point out is that we never stop looking for something that isn't in our reach, otherwise we do work for it.

So, as a younger sibling I was always treated as a being with lesser brain and my 1 and 1/4 years older brother knew it all, I used to feel that why they consider this and later I did learn that I knew less, from then I have been learning and I have succumbed to it all just to gain knowledge of it and I still don't know so much but, all in all, I just wanted to be a grown up, someone with equal footing as his elder brother. I read this somewhere in the various books (despite very few in number) that one has to see birth and death in order to be a grown up, I have seen those 2 and I so wish I was still a child.

I'm 23 years of age and I can't help but break down in tears whenever I see my dearly departed friend's father, a father who has lost his only child, that devastated mother who will never get to feed her only son his favourite food when he comes back home tired, the grandparents whose's weak eyes won't see their grandson running about the place. Such thoughts have set in a certain melancholy environment in my mind since last Tuesday. I did not know that one friend very well for we were somewhat acquaintances to each other but, the ordeal of those he left behind is too much of a hardship and god forbid that anyone should ever witness this unrelenting scenario in their life.

I had a long chat with myself(my conscious) over this on the day I heard that he is gone, too bad I am limited by what my conscious knew already. PRAY FOR HIS SOUL, may his family find reason in this ruthless act of god. 

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