The excitement of first love was overwhelming but then again guess im not mature at all and i got the wandering heart syndrome( #made up disease). I got to thinking that if I love this girl shouldnt i put her first, shouldnt i care for her like hell, shouldnt i be hers but im not ... I kinda got thinking over it yesterday, a whole day i didnt talk to her properly and nothing no feeling of guilt came upon me and i realized it then and there that i had to tell her that i dont love her but merely infatuated to her, she is one of those beautiful girls who can be surprisingly cute and charmingly stunning at the same time and i played the timid guy before telling her about what i felt but, the thought of hurting her later down the road. So, today i backed out i retaliated from the situation so as to avoid any further contempt. No matter how hard i thought about it i couldnt reach an alternate conclusion. Out of the few things that have been constantly taught to me is that never break what you cant mend, never take what you cant give and never be what you cant uphold.
Today I had an unusual air of calm inside my lungs. Today I was in no hurry to get up and go to work, I knew that sleeping in 30 minutes more wont hurt anybody, I walked to the Metro train station in a long 10 minute walk (it takes me precisely 7 minutes to get to the station from my home) and i was fine, not put of breath in any way, I was subjected to the same unrelenting crowd of rajiv chowk and I didnt care. In the metro I didnt offer my seat to any (coz no one aged nor any woman in need appeared) as I got the seat during the last leg of my journey. I got to my workplace only to realize that I had left my key at home but, instead of calling everyone with the key to hurry to the workplace, I waited it out. This new feeling of calm is elevating, Im worried for nothing and this maybe the first time in my entire life that Im worried for nothing. No, doors need to be locked, no switches need to be turned off, no deadlines to meet and no love to greet. There is a profound happiness that...
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