This note is not shared and if you have found it I suggest you keep it to yourself, Please!!
You know how they tell you that your mind works better at night, less troubles to deal with, a more free thinking space and what not. I have always agreed to the fact, the night time has always brought with itself a lot of opportunities. The most recent was called "Clbtl" (no i cant name her) and she came with a certain realisation, i.e. I am quite content with my life and this is pretty much a curse. As you yourself can gather that in order to seize opportunities one must always be hungry for something more. Whereas, I have all I can ask for, neither I have the wish nor the need for something more except for that one thing called love. I agree that my family loves me but, I cant share my heart with them because they got their own troubles trust me, its not easy for anyone who is alive.
So, coming back to the idea of opportunities this Clbtl incited love in me again, with her sweet talking and sarcastic jokes, how she would with great, unprecedented humility ask for my help every now and then, how she would let her spectacles slide just enough to look above her glasses to nudge me and my thoughts back into the food on my plate, and god knows what not (I can go on and on, like every lover ever) but, then again i would never tell her that I love her, something zeroed down to abandonment issues. This although is the 21st century, relationships nowadays are more physical and so was ours. Every time I was with her, every time she was with me, it was ecstatic, I was ecstatic. she was gorgeous the moment water slid across her skin it would turn, not into gold but, an elixir all the same, she had fingers so slender and petite that they would get lost in my hair, her embrace was a cocktail of emotions as easy to touch as I could feel the air and abysmally absent the next moment, her breath would blow furnaces to re-incarnation, her kiss was a bitter-sweet gesture, bitter because she eventually leaves.
This feeling to be exact is the so called proverbial dangling carrot, it is the only thing that seems to have been driving me these days not, her alone, who rather terribly she left too, its the next one in line upon whose thought this epiphany dawned on me. I have nothing against this but, what if, I miss the one I am supposed to be with, What is i hurt the ones I have been with. Uptil now, there only has been one who considers me worth something even after I chose to abandon her. I wonder if i should stop myself.
You know how they tell you that your mind works better at night, less troubles to deal with, a more free thinking space and what not. I have always agreed to the fact, the night time has always brought with itself a lot of opportunities. The most recent was called "Clbtl" (no i cant name her) and she came with a certain realisation, i.e. I am quite content with my life and this is pretty much a curse. As you yourself can gather that in order to seize opportunities one must always be hungry for something more. Whereas, I have all I can ask for, neither I have the wish nor the need for something more except for that one thing called love. I agree that my family loves me but, I cant share my heart with them because they got their own troubles trust me, its not easy for anyone who is alive.
So, coming back to the idea of opportunities this Clbtl incited love in me again, with her sweet talking and sarcastic jokes, how she would with great, unprecedented humility ask for my help every now and then, how she would let her spectacles slide just enough to look above her glasses to nudge me and my thoughts back into the food on my plate, and god knows what not (I can go on and on, like every lover ever) but, then again i would never tell her that I love her, something zeroed down to abandonment issues. This although is the 21st century, relationships nowadays are more physical and so was ours. Every time I was with her, every time she was with me, it was ecstatic, I was ecstatic. she was gorgeous the moment water slid across her skin it would turn, not into gold but, an elixir all the same, she had fingers so slender and petite that they would get lost in my hair, her embrace was a cocktail of emotions as easy to touch as I could feel the air and abysmally absent the next moment, her breath would blow furnaces to re-incarnation, her kiss was a bitter-sweet gesture, bitter because she eventually leaves.
This feeling to be exact is the so called proverbial dangling carrot, it is the only thing that seems to have been driving me these days not, her alone, who rather terribly she left too, its the next one in line upon whose thought this epiphany dawned on me. I have nothing against this but, what if, I miss the one I am supposed to be with, What is i hurt the ones I have been with. Uptil now, there only has been one who considers me worth something even after I chose to abandon her. I wonder if i should stop myself.
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